Stuck.

So my life on the internet has made me very tempted to just leave reality and walk away. Perhaps I'm addicted to the internet, I don't know. Before I go on, let me just put a friendly reminder out there: addiction to anything is bad, not just to the internet. Anyway. Whenever I'm on my phone or computer (or basically whenever I'm feeling anti-social) and someone talks to me, not only do I get annoyed- it's literally starting to hurt my ears. Or my brain. It just hurts like a legitimate "ugh, stop talking". Sadly, this is usually people I can't afford to piss off. And I shan't say who, because society will kill me.

Recently I've been a lot more relaxed about my brother using the computer, because I feel like he's pretty deprived of the internet- so much so that he loves online homework. I suppose he hasn't gone through actual hell before. He got to skip the young scientist project thing that I had to do when I was his age. Twice. Or thrice, I don't remember. It was the first time I realized how much online homework sucks. Then again I'd gladly research a bunch of stuff about endorphins and dopamines. Everything is easier when you have the interest to do it. Another debate/discussion for some other time.

I'm not going anywhere with this. I have spotify in my head and I can't concentrate with music. This is just a really pointless rant. Thanks a lot if you're still reading. But all in all, I just kinda wish I could leave this place asap and choose to live on the internet, with an occasional, stress-free visit to the outside world.