Sunday, 17 May 2015.

Today hasn't ended yet, but I thought I'd write this while waiting for my phone to charge. Today started out pretty great- Joey Graceffa came out as gay through his new music video Don't Wait and kissed a dude! I mean, everyone could tell right from the start, but even though he hadn't came out back then, whatever, I was fine with him being straight. But we're all so proud of him for finally coming out, especially having gone through many rough times. So now both Joey and Connor have come out, which is really cool. Equally proud of both of them. Sigh.

At church the pastor explained about hell which cleared up many doubts for me, especially with testimonies from a doctor who brings people back to life. When the non-believers came back to life, they pleaded the doctor to keep using the defibrillator on them because they didn't want to go back to being dead. But when the believers came back to life, they kinda just looked at the doctor like, "Dude what are you doing". So that was calming. Then there was a celebration for the same pastor's birthday, which is always really fun. The other pastors came up with a hilarious skit and played the video, dressed in The Avengers outfits. I love it when all these pastors come out and do a skit, because it really does instil a huge sense of belonging to the church, at least for me. And despite having performed in ridiculous outfits, we all still have the same amount of respect towards all of them.

And then, I helped out my Mom at my granddad's house. Which is another detail of the whole shitstorm aftermath thing. I hope these things are worthwhile. At the very least, doing these things prove nice things about myself to myself. Like, these are the kinds of things future Clara would look back on and then hug and cuddle and comfort me. Won't you? I know you're there. Hope you're dong well.

And now I'm home, where just a while ago in the toilet I was having really mixed up feelings that I was having a hard time trying to sort out. Worrying/pondering about the future as always. I hope things are fine. And if they're not right now, just keep on going. All the Claras are rooting for you always. <3

Same to anyone else potentially reading this. Be nice to yourself.