Weird mental health thing.

Everything is weird. It's like a flu that keeps coming back. I'm tired of this on and off thing. I'm tired of not having my thoughts straight. I'm tired of being two extreme versions of myself and switching back and forth with multiple flicks of a flu switch. I'm tired of not being able to access proper help like I used to.

Last night I wrote in my actual physical journal about how much it scares me to not hate all of this weird mental health thing. But one thing I do hate is anxiety. I hate worrying about things that don't matter to everyone but me. I hate worrying about people. People scare me and as much as I try to repress that feeling and put myself out there, it comes back.

Everything is weird, I'm tired, I hate everything but also not everything.