Which is why it usually pains me when such friendships are cut off, because they all mean a lot to me. And I think I may be about to cut off one for the first time. Forever. Not just a fight, they're for children. Forever. I know it's probably the right choice to make, because it doesn't seem very healthy for me. I say that because I think about cutting this friendship off every time we have a conversation. That's not a very healthy friendship.
Recently, I was invited to a reunion by a bunch of secondary school friends. I got really excited and happy, because I felt like I'd just been validated by a bunch of people I've been subconciously trying to impress. I felt like I was good enough for them to remember me. But now I realise that these friends are merely mutual friends of the person I want to cut off. And the paranoia of him hurting me in front of all those people is making me realise that this meetup isn't worth it. I'd much rather enjoy being my introverted self.
I already have a mother with unpredictable moods and an explosive temper. I already have to deal with this anxiety at home. I don't see why I have to deal with this when it's merely my social life, when I'm an introvert. Yeah. I'm gonna go back to living my quiet life again. Which is why I've deleted the app we've been talking on, and muted him everywhere else. I know, not the boldest move. But it's something.
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